Sexual Fantasy or Reality?

Did you know that you mind has nearly 64,000 thoughts every day.  If we acted on every one of them where would we be. 

With the average man "supposedly" thinking about sex every 7 seconds there wouldn't be much time for work.

The following article contains some very useful information about male fantasy:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/article723673.ece

Fantasies can be very healthy and sometimes they should just remain that Fantasies.

Often when someone has a fantasy and acts it out is not as appealing in reality and can be dangerous, illegal or just plain impractical

My view is that are is really no therapy that "cures" our fantasies but we can educate ourselves.   Fantasies on the whole don't do anyone harm: they're only in our heads, and they don't dictate our actions. We choose our actions. Certainly, if you're finding your fantasies disturbing to you, that's where talking to someone can help you get more comfortable with those fantasies and your feelings, but they can't rid you of them. Generally, the more people usually try to repress a fantasy in their heads, the more persistent the fantasy usually gets.

It is also important to understand people who are into BDSM are not all into BDSM exclusively, or BDSM 24/7. Sure, some people are, but they're pretty rare. Many subs who have come to see me as a professional dominatrix have this "fantasy" that I live a dominant lifestyle 24/7 with a harem of slaves around me that I am permanently dressed up in leather and high heels.  They do not understand the concept that I also have a family and I have a dog and two cats and I enjoy normally everyday things like slopping around in my old jeans when I am not working 

For most, a fantasy is just one aspect of their sex life, and one way they have sex or one thing they add to the sex they're having, some of the time, but not all of the time. For most, it's not a lifestyle; it's just one thing that turns them and their partners on. Or they may wish to separate it from their partner and that's when it can get confusing and the guilt sets in

For many reasons you may find you're oriented towards BDSM in your sexual identity and interests, it's still up to you not only IF you explore that, but how much of your sexual life you make it. Some people may have never even had sex before and worried that they are abnormal because they cannot be aroused by the so called "normal" fantasy of nothing but vaginal intercourse.

Fantasies change all the time, the same as our thoughts.  Both I and my boyfriend have had some pretty weird fantasies but we have not always carried them out!  Acceptance of these fantasies is going to get you further and leave you in a better space than resistance will.  In fact you will probably find yourself obsessing about it less. 

If you decide down the road to enact that fantasy in real life, so long as whoever else is involved has the same interests, so long as it's safe, sane, legal and consensual between two parties or even on your own.  So long as and that all the limits and boundaries of safety are set and respectful between one another then it's ok.